The swell man himself

Andrew (Drew) Douchebag Pickles (born June 9, 1949 in San Diego, California) is a character from the TV show "Rugrats", but has a very dark secret. He is the gayest known man and organism in the universe who is commander of the Barney Bunch. In many Barney Bunch videos, Drew is Barney the Dinosaur's current boyfriend. He also has a mastadonic 300 mile long penis when it is erected. He likes to rape anything that is male, use objects as dildos to shove into his butt, and shatter the fourth wall.

Below is a swell biography of Drew Pickles life.

Details Edit

Drew Pickles uses the same appearance as the Rugrats character of the same name. He is white with orange-brown/auburn hair and a long nose, wearing broad, green-rimmed glasses (sometimes black). He wears brown leather shoes, cyan pants, and a light blue dress shirt. Over the shirt is a purple and turquoise sweater vest with a red trim at the collar. The exact saturation of color varies from picture to picture, though this could be based on the amount of cum absorbed into the particular article(s) of clothing/his hair, making it lighter or darker. He follows the standard sound effects style and uses the Microsoft Sam voice, the pitch can range from highest to lowest, depending on the video maker.

Drew Pickles is known for being the gayest man alive, and will act according to this title. He is often depicted in videos going to locations or applying for jobs at locations and subsequently raping every male at that location, while killing every female.

Most locations have long lines, and upon the first rape scene, it is stated that he pulls out his "mastodonic 300 mile long p-p-p-penis" and rapes all the men in said line. Rape scenes occur throughout the videos and are better with more variety in sounds, despite use of similar styles. Drew will also use just about any object as a dialdo. From actual dildis to dead bodies (even though it is uncommon for him to shove the dead bodies of females up his ass, it has been done). At the end of most of the videos, he rapes a character known as The Manager but there are certain exceptions to this rule depending on the style used and whether he accompanies other characters or not, as well as the general storyline. However, the usual rape scene end quote is still used; "Bag, that was swell."

Birth and Early LifeEdit

Drew Pickles was born at Rainbow Children's Hospital in San Diego, California, United States, on June 9, 1949, to Louis Kalhern Pickles II (of English, Canadian, and Polish descent) and Sue Pickles (of Norwegian, Irish and German descent). Drew's maternal grandfather was a farmer in the Seattle area, and his maternal grandmother was an actress from Tulsa, Oklahoma. Lou Pickles stated in his autobiographic writing, Life as a Homosexual Acrobat: the Lou Pickles Faze (among several other reasons pertaining to gay support);

"I Wanted a Child To accompany me in pornographic films, and to support us in pro-LGBT protests." -Lou Pickles, 1950
The following year after his birth, Pickles' parents gave birth to a baby named Stu, because, according to the father, he would accompany Drew in homosexuality. A week after Stu was born, Drew killed his mother by decapitating her with his penis, which was examined by doctors to be three inches at birth.

By the age of two, Pickles' penis had grown to three feet long and was noticed to resize of his own control. In Pickles' autobiography, Gay, Gay Man: Life as the Gayest Man in the Universe, he states that his penis grew due to consistent exposure of gay "kid-friendly" pornographic films his father showed him, and various sex toys that lay in his play-pen. By the age of four, his dick, according to doctors, was confirmed to be thirty feet and eight inches long, breaking the world record of longest penis as a minor, with the previous record held by his father at nineteen feet and six inches.

In 1954, shortly before attending his first day of school, Lou Pickles opened the Magic Wrench Repair Shop, and Drew would often get in trouble as he would shove all of the broken electronic appliances up his ass as if they were dildis. Lou would often punish Drew by forcing him to wear girls' clothing and marching him around town in order to embarrass him afterwards. Two years thereafter, Pickles was left in charge by life-long boyfriend Barney the Dinosaur to write screenplays for the aforementioned's gay pornos that were in production at that time. Drew worked for 10 years in the field of screenwriting, ultimately retiring at age 18 to focus on his-then fledgling acting career.

Pickles attended La Jolla Elementary School in San Diego at the age of five. His kindergarten teacher described Pickles as an intelligent young man and had proper motor skills, but was extremely disruptive and would sexually harass fellow students. In one incident reported to faculty and school district police, Pickles was said to have taken a building block and a sodomize a six-year-old fellow male student with it. He was subsequently suspended from the school for five days and was required to take a class on respecting other students' bodies and keeping one's hands to themselves. A second incident was reported to school district police when Pickles, at the age of seven and while in the first grade, ejaculated all over the school restrooms, and took pictures of boys naked while in the stalls. He was taken into police custody where they questioned him, asking if his father, Lou, abused him. Pickles denied any abuse from his father, however, Lou Pickles failed to respond to police about allegations of abuse of his son, and Drew and was charged with obstruction of justice. The charge was dropped, but Lou Pickles was required to take a parenting class for six months and pay a $1,000 fine for his son's vandalism of school property. Several other similar incidents were reported, mostly consisting of sexual disturbances reported by male students who were uncomfortable with Pickles' presence.

Tween Life, Teen Life, and early Adult LifeEdit

When Drew turned 10 years old, he began feeling very weird. He started crapping on his dad and little brother Stu, sticking dildos in his butt, and peeing all over the city with his penis (which has now grown to 50 miles long). The following year, Drew got some gay porn magazines for his eleventh birthday and soon started looking at the porn. He couldn't stop. Drew once could not sleep for a week due to all the porn he looked up. At 15, he recorded a song, Rudolph The Deepthroat Reindeer Drew's father Lou kicked Drew out of the house when he was 18 so he could find a job. He was able to find a job at the gay bar downtown to strip for old gay men. Drew received lots of money to buy dildos to put up into his ass. He remained a gay stripper for another 17 years. In 1973, he was the first person to see Horrorman as a skeleton during a report on the Gay Bar TV.


After being a gay stripper for 17 years, Drew married Charlotte at the age of 35 in 1987. They would later have a daughter named Angelica a year later. Although Drew didn't like being married to a woman, he was tired of men for that period. But when he decided to have sex with men again instead with women, he went out when his wife was sleeping to rape men. Charlotte knew nothing of this until later on.

On the show "Rugrats"Edit

In 1991, Drew and his family got to be on the Nickelodeon cartoon Rugrats as Tommy Pickles uncle, aunt, and cousin. Drew had to hide his gayness and giant penis (whick was now 295 miles long) in the show to avoid controversy. He did ok about hiding his gayness and penis exept for once in 1998 when The Rugrats Movie came out. There was a scene from when Drew found out that his daughter Angelica was missing and he began to viciously rape his brother Stu and then began choking him with his large penis. This scene was cut out from the movie and replaced with a scene where Drew tackled Stu in anger. In 2002, Nick asked Drew if he wanted to be on the Rugrats spinoff All Grown Up. Drew said no to the request but told Nick they could make a clone of him (that was not gay and didn't have a giant penis). Nick answered yes. Drew would remain on Rugrats until the show finally ended after a 13 year run in 2004.

The Barney BunchEdit

In 2005, Drew helped out with making a group on Newgrounds with his friends Barney, Astro Boy, Ronald McDonald, and Ronald's brother Dick the Clown called The Barney Bunch. He knew all of these guys from his stripping days at the bar where they first met. Drew was the leader of the group, which would remain on Newgrounds until 2007 when it got suspended from the site after Hit Entertainment (the company who owned Barney) threatened to sue. The Barney Bunch reunited the following year on Newgrounds as well as expanding to Youtube. During his year off, Drew's penis grew another five miles bringing it to a total length of 300 miles. He would later have his penis in the world record book for its length. He would also have many rivals over the years with those who claim to be gayer than him. Drew's most famous rivals are the Pube Muppet, Justin Beiber, and Yogi Bear.

Porn careerEdit

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Even since the late 1960's, Drew Pickles has starred in many gay porn films. In fact, hundreds of them. Many of Drew's friends appeared in these pornos and some are also lost Barney episodes. Here are some of his most popular gay pornos.

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