Here is the transcript to the YouTube Poop and lost Barney episode PBS Secret Weapon.
(The music from Mario starts play with a sign saying "Super Poop Bros". A fart noise is heard and the sign falls down. The scene cuts into Mario and Luigi's house.)
Luigi: Hey Mario, look what I made! It's a football!
(Words come up onto the screen saying "For those of you who don't know....This is a chamber pot.")
(The scene then cuts back outside of the house.)
Mario: It's poop Luigi. Yuck!
(Mario throws the pot out the window and the scene cuts to Dr. Rabbit's balloon.)
Dr. Rabbit: Hello there! I am Dr.Rabbit. The world's only rabbit dentist.
(Pedo Bear appears.)
Dr. Rabbit: I'm about to die?
(Pedo Bear roars, jumps into the balloon basket, and begins attacking and probably rapping Dr. Rabbit.)
Dr. Rabbit: Ahhhhhhhhhh!
(The YouTube Poop logo splats into view.)
Luigi: I have to live in this hellhole! On YouTube! Staying home play Pokemon over your pingas at the same time!
Flying Cosby Head: Pokemon!
(The scene gets close to Mario and then reverts back to normal. The flying head passes by again and it reveals that Mario has breasts.)
(Mario makes random noises as Luigi points his finger and starts farting.)
(Outside, a van with the PBS logo stops in front of the house and a familiar purple foot steps out.)
(Back inside, the brothers are about to fight when they hear someone knocking on the door. The door flies open and crashes in the house. Dr. Nick then walks by.
Dr. Nick: Hi everybody!
(Dr. Nick walks away and Barney rises up. The scene then cuts back outside.)
Barney: I'm Barney the dinosaur!
Flying Cosby Head (not seen): Pokemon!
(Mario and Luigi scream and run away with Barney hot on their tail. All three of them are seen in black silhouettes.)
(The scene cuts back to Dr. Rabbit's balloon, which is still shaking.)
(Bowser rises up from the balloon basket.)
Bowser: Bwah ha ha ha ha ha!
(Pedo Bear roars and grabs Bowser, who now looks surprised, pulls him down into the balloon basket, and begins attacking and probably rapping him. Bowser begin screaming as well.)
(Mario and Luigi scream as they pass a Spartao's box with Barney on their tail. They soon go into a building with many doors with Barney still chasing them. Mario and Luigi are even in a tank at one time being followed by Barney inside a purple tank. The king in a small car is seen coming out from another door following Zelda who's being chased by Link with a fork and knife.
Mario: If you need instructions (Barney rises up) on how to get through the hotels, check out the enclosed....
(Barney sinks and attacks Mario and kills him. The Mario loses a life music is heard. Luigi comes over surprised. Barney rises up again with blood around his mouth.)
(Luigi reaches for a 9000 pack of diapers for $1.49.)
Luigi: That's a low price!
(Barney starts roaring and shaking. Luigi runs out of the building with the evil purple piece of crap not far behind.)
(Luigi and Barney pass Dr. Rabbit's balloon. This slows down Barney, as he stops and sees Dr. Rabbit come up injured, but alive with a gun and looks very mad.)
Dr.Rabbit: You must die!
(Dr. Rabbit shoots Pedo Bear five times.)
(Luigi keeps running. He passes a black and white shot of Hitler playing the banjo in the 1940's and a guy playing cards. Luigi keeps running until he's hit by a guy driving a small car with the Wii logo on it. Luigi goes flying.)
(Snoopy is seen on his doghouse flying while Luigi lands on the ground. Barney rises over Luigi.
Barney: Oh boy oh boy!
(Barney begins roaring and shaking again. Luigi becomes scared and starts shaking. Barney gets closer to Luigi with his evil smile. But suddenly, he's shot and falls to the ground.)
(Luigi gets up and sees it was Weegee that shot and killed Barney.)
Luigi: You saved....
(Weegee shoots and probably kills Luigi with his gun. He says nothing and just stares at the viewer. Weegee is then hit and knocked out by the chamber pot that Mario threw out earlier in the episode.)
A Voice: Die!
(A TV lands next to Weegee and turns on.)
The Guy on TV: The Minnie Winnie. Part of Americam tradition and today on the cutting edge of design and function in a Class C Motor Home. Do you beleive any of that s**t?
(The lost episode ends.)